September always seemed to be the busiest month, at least to a small town boy at ten years old. Greendale's population was only 802 at the last census. One gas station, one grocery store, and one stop light, all on the state highway that served as Main street through the middle of town. Even as small as it was, there were three school buildings. The newest one was a block south of Main street near the city park. It held the high school, and a kindergarten classroom in the basement. There were two old buildings. One a couple blocks north of the gas station in a residential area that held grades one through four, and one was two miles east of town where grades five through eight were bused. I know, it all sounds a bit unlikely, but I swear it's true. Ben didn't know how it had come to be that way, and he really didn't care. All he knew was he finally got to ride the bus from the Oak street grade school to the middle school outside of town. Hopefully things would be better there. He hadn't felt like things had been going so well up to now. This September, in 1967, would turn out to be no different. He just didn't know it yet.

Early in the school year, schools seem to try getting in as many fair weather activities as they can. While the temperatures of the season allow, high schools play fall sports, grade schools hold recess outside, and fifth graders in Greendale compete for spots in the games at the county fair. When the men in dark suits showed up that Tuesday it was a complete surprise to the new middle schoolers. They were herded outside, corralled, and given relevant instructions. There were going to be three races. First was a forty yard dash, then a thirty yard one legged hop, and finally going twenty yards with an egg in a spoon. Ben did alright in the dash, finishing fourth and fifth in the two heats. They only talked to the top two or three so he still didn’t really know what was going on. Then came the one legged hop. On go he hopped as fast as he could, most of the way with his eyes closed. It took a moment before he realized he had finished second while one of his best friends, Jim, had finished first. Somehow with all the chatter around him he understood that they were taking the top two finishers to the fair to compete with other schools. He had won something! Well, kind of. He was going to the fair! Then one of the men said they would run another heat to make sure they had the right students. He could barely breathe as he lined up at the starting line. On command the hoppers took off, and he kept his eyes on Jim’s heels all the way to the finish. He finished second again. It was official. He was actually going to the fair. After the spoon race, and the bad attempt at a joke by one of the men in suits about eggs not growing on trees to explain why they ran only once, they gathered the winners and explained what to do. As excited as Ben was he did his best to pay attention and remember. They were to meet at the school on Saturday at 8:30 where they would get on a bus to the fair. He could hardly wait to get home and tell his parents the great news.

When Saturday finally arrived Ben was up early and dressed. His dad had to work, and with two little sisters to tend to his mother wouldn’t be coming to watch either. He had to walk to the school as well but he was used to that. So with plenty of time to spare he left to meet the bus at a trot. He wasn’t surprised to find he was the first one to arrive as early as he had left, so he busied himself kicking acorns that had fallen from the large oak in front of the school. After a while, when he realized he was still alone, he stopped a passerby and asked the time. “It’s a quarter to 9”, the man said. Ben’s heart sank. What had he done wrong this time? He headed for home with tears in his eyes. When he got there his mother was obviously surprised to see him and asked what was wrong. He told the story as best he could between sobs. His mother looked at him sadly and said. “Ben, you told me when you got home Tuesday you were supposed to go to the high school. You went to the wrong school, Ben. Sometimes I don’t think you know which way is up.”

That next Monday Ben walked into school with a long face and a broken heart. Jim had finished second in the county and brought his red ribbon to school to proudly show his accomplishment. Ben had messed up once again. Another busy September, at least for everyone else it seemed, came and went. And it seemed like things would never get any better for Ben. Maybe someday he would know up from down. Just not at 10. Just not yet.

one

Life

Life is chuck full of thin lines. I have come to the conclusion that who we are depends on how well we manage these lines. There is a thin line between being proud and bragging. There is a thin line between standing up for yourself, or defending your opinion, and being argumentative. There are thin lines between taking time to relax and being lazy, between being a hard worker and being a workaholic, between being helpful and being a distraction, between giving someone space and not being there for them, between wanting our own space, and being antisocial. Obviously, I could go on and on. We all struggle with such things on a daily basis, and know others that do so as well. We would like to help, but are afraid of interfering. We would like help from others, but do not want to appear too needy. And far too often these problems cause misunderstandings and fights. Anyway, this is just an observation. On my part, I will continue trying to see these lines as clearly as possible. Perhaps I should start wearing my glasses more often…….

If you knew this would be the last springtime

you would get to see flowers in bloom.

The last time you would see that fisrt robin

or smell mother natures purfume.




If you knew this would be your last summer

to watch all the children at play.

To enjoy a picnic down at the river

or just relax and be lazy all day.

If you knew this would be your last autumn

to see leaves turning yellow and red.

The last cool evenings warmed by a bonfire

or for tucking the young ones in bed.

If you knew this would be the last winter

you would gaze at the new fallen snow.

Or feel childlike excitement one more time

by getting presents tied up with a bow.

Would you approach how you lived any different?

Would you regret what you'd missed in the past?

Or would you smile with contentment just knowing,

you'll be on your way home soon at last.

The rain that falls upon the ground
With peaceful and hypnotic sound
Incites the stream of life to flow
That takes our ship of life in tow
Toward our unknown destiny
Toward that fair and open sea
Those we encounter on our way
Add joy to living day to day

Now, if you've seen my ship sail by
When it is gone please do not cry
As we stand steady at the helm
Our spirit sails from realm to realm
So though my ship may sail from sight
Please do not think I shun the fight
It does not mean my journey ends
It only means the river bends

Tears in Vain

From early on boys learn to try
To keep stiff lipped and not to cry
Controlled emotions, now an art
Put limitations on his heart
So after many, many years
Of holding back the flow of tears
He starts to understand what’s real
And what it’s like to love and feel
Seeing life with moistened eye
His weathered cheek no longer dry
But now too late to hold them tight
He’s left alone both day and night
Now when he cries it’s from his pain
And then they’re only tears in vain

Days of my Youth

Long ago are the days I could play by myself
and dream of travel and far away lands.
Life was so simple and troubles were few
and my future was all in my hands.
Now and then friends would come ambling along
though no one could see them but me
and we’d draw our swords and fire our guns
from high up in the old apple tree.
Then I’d eat tart green apples til my belly was sore
though I’d never admit that was true.
Then I’d lay in the clover looking up to the sky
at the white parade on its background of blue.
Oh, there were races to run and treasures to find
and so many great places to go.
In the summer my fort was ten stories high
and in winter I made it from snow.
If only those days could have lasted forever
and those places my ship once struck shore.
But I can no longer believe in what doesn't exist
and I just can’t play there no more.